


new found relief

by orphan_account



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: M/M, Painful pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:30:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay keeps his feelings in- Carlos can't, but they come out all twisted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	new found relief

When Jay woke up he didn't remember where he was. Until he looked to his side, and then he did, and feelings hit him like a freight train. 

He'd tried not to let himself go. He did his best to keep his feelings in, crying alone at night and feeling his brain short-circuit every day when his best friend looked at him. 

Because that's what they were- best friends, nothing less but nothing more. And he loved it. Carlos was an amazing person to be around, just hearing him talk about his projects or anything he felt strongly about, made Jay happy to see him happy. But it was so painful being that close yet that far, and Jay's feelings were forced to stay locked inside his head like his father's vault of gold. 

It hadn't been easy though. Carlos loved Jay, and he showed it. He'd always hug him, and jump on his back and sit on his lap and look at Jay like he was the best thing in his life, and in those moments Jay couldn't not think about kissing him and letting his feelings out, not giving a damn about the consequences, but the consequences could be terribly awful. He could lose Carlos completely and that was something he wouldn't allow to happen. So he tucked everything in, kept quiet and loved secretly. 

\---------

It had begun at breakfast, with Jay staring sleepily into his cup of coffee, unable to form a string of thought, when out of the corner of his eye he saw Carlos walk into the room, sulking, way less bright and upbeat than every day. Jay saw him grab a doughnut and walk to their usual table, and waved at him- but Carlos pretended not to see him, and, avoiding his gaze, he headed back out of the room, not looking up from his feet again. Jay did not see him again until Tourney practice. 

It wasn't uncommon for Carlos to just sit on the bench and watch during practice, but he didn't even watch that day. He seemed distraught by something, as if he was trying to stop a certain thought from popping into his head. Jay couldn't stop himself thinking during the whole game, thinking if he should do something. So when Tourney finished and he had thought it over in the shower, he went back to his and Carlos' room.

He checked his watch before entering, to make sure it wasn't too late into the night. It was nine thirty, though, and noise could be heard from within the room, as if Carlos was working on some project. He knocked on the door, and waited for the faint "come in" from inside to open it. 

Carlos was sitting on his bed, screwing a wire into a roll behind the surface of a clock. His face fell when he saw Jay come in. He was definitely not pleased to see him. He continued screwing the clock as Jay spoke to him. 

"What the hell is wrong, Carlos?"

"Nothing," he replied, dryly. 

"Come on, man. I can tell you're avoiding me. Tell me what's up and I'll get out of your hair as quick as I can." 

"I told you, dude. Nothing's up. I'm trying to work." 

Anger washed over Jay, and he got into his bed without even taking his clothes off. "Okay. Suit yourself. I'll just- not talk to you again." He turned his back to Carlos without saying goodnight. 

Jay couldn't sleep, though. He kept searching his past actions to see what could he have done to piss Carlos off, if it was something he had said. He wondered he was angry because he had found out Jay was in love with him, and feared it would be the end of it all. He tried to sleep, but when he closed his eyes he felt tears coming. 

 

He stared out the window for what felt like hours, until he heard Carlos put his clock away and get into his own bed. He didn't expect Carlos to speak, though. 

"I'm not fucking angry, man. Do you want to know what's wrong? What's wrong is that I can't stop thinking, I can't stop myself from feeling things, and I just don't want to. I don't want to fuck anything up, and I really don't want you to hate me, because I love you, man. Like, you know I love you, but I love you even more than that and I keep thinking about what it would be like if you loved me back like this, but I'd rather not to, because it will never happen and now all I did was weird you the hell out. I'm sorry. Goodnight, Jay."

Jay blinked a few times to make sure he was awake before turning around in bed, to see Carlos with his back to him, curled into a ball on his bed with his face buried into the pillow. 

He moved automatically, as if his body was leading his mind, and got out of bed. Carlos shifted in reaction to him moving, but didn't stop Jay getting beneath the covers and wrap one arm around him. Their breaths evened out and eventually, they both fell asleep. 

When he woke up, Jay couldn't remember where he was, until he looked to his side and he did.

**Author's Note:**

> literally first jaylos ever sorry bye


End file.
